Is gay marriage legal in Washington?
No. However, the law that prohibits it is being challenged in the Washington Supreme Court right now. Unfortunately, even if that's decided in our favor, it could be many years before the legal battle really ends.
[Update: the Washington State Supreme Court, in its all-too-finite wisdom, decided in a split vote on July 26 that the legislature had the right to believe that marriage is meant to encourage procreation and protect children. So all of you straight married folks out there better get busy, if you haven't already. Now you know why you are really married.]
Why aren't you calling it a commitment ceremony?
This is one of those situations that exemplify the perspective, "the personal is political." A commitment ceremony is a sub-marriage. Whether or not there are legal protections for us in place, what we are doing is getting married. Til death do us part. Forsaking all others. All of that. I have never been one to accept stupid laws, and I'm not about to start now.
What should I wear to the wedding?
Well, last time I raided your closet I did notice that lovely pink frock with the mirabou trim. That would be lovely. Seriously, we're in formalwear. You don't have to be, but you can feel free to join us. Extra points to people in creative outfits. We like that.
Who asked whom?
Ami did the asking. Once on Cinco de Mayo on a Capitol Hill rooftop. There was an origami ring involved. The second time was at the Wild Rose, that ever-popular hotbed of lesbian drama. She called all of Ruby's friends and invited them, then took the karaoke stage and proposed. It was very sweet and very large. Ruby loved it.
What if I have mixed feelings about gay marriage?
Then I particularly hope you'll join us. Please keep your opinions to yourself, naturally -- it's a day for love, not arguing. Besides, you'll be waaaaay outnumbered.
But notice while you're there how very much this wedding resembles the one you had, or the one you hope to have (if you do). Not in style, or the genital particulars of the wedding party. But in spirit.
Two people. Friends and family. Love pledges. Rings. Tears. Smiles. Hope. Predictions. At least one embarrassing moment. At least one too-drunk friend. Flowers. Food. Music and dancing. Toasts. Champagne. Cake.
You recognize this event. It's a wedding, and it marks the beginning of a marriage. A real one.